Headaches and heartaches

I know its been 6 months since i posted. I've been busy, like life isn't always busy.Between surgery and moving its been crazy. I had surgery on my shoulder and less than a month later was preparing to move. Between that time my sister moved and i found out my mom needed surgery. We are a busy family with never a dull moment. Today is surgery day for mom and i'm here with my sister waiting for news on how it went. I also said goodbye to my son who is off to scout camp for the week. I was volunteered by my son to over see the food for this 6 day camp, and it has been a bit of a challenge, trying to get all the moms on the same page and preparing a different me was frustrating at times but its about to all pay off. The boys left at 7:15 and i know it will be an amazing time. I plan on going up on friday to take lunch to the boys and check out the camp. It should be lots of fun and i'm looking forward to it. Its only been a few hours but i miss him like crazy, this will be the longest i've been apart from him since he was born. I hope he has a great time with all the guys. i don't know how my mom was before surgery but i didn't sleep well with all that i knew was going to happen, i don't know if i was the only one that was nervous but i haven't heard anyone else say anything about it. The lack of sleep has given me a headache, and waiting for any news is a lesson in patience. I guess its one i need to learn after all the times she has waited to hear about me. Thanks for always being there mom, I appreciate all you do.
Scent- mandarin mango madness
Sence-Family will cause headaches and heartaches, but there worth it.

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seemed to go right? where the new furniture with pre- drilled holes isnt pre- drilled so you search for the drill just to find out someone put it in the wrong spot, its dirty and the batteries are dead so you have to wait 3 hours to use the dumb thing. The insurance company wont pay for the out patient visits for your children and the other insurance just wont pay anything and you wonder why you have it. Or how about you get a stack of paperwork due back in 3 days and you don't have the information to fill it out and if you could get it, it would take weeks and hundreds of dollars ( which i don't have). This has been my day in a nut shell, i am feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated. I have spent the last few hours trying to let go, let go of the tears, frustration and the pain, the pain in my face from my TMJ acting up for the last two weeks, pain of the headache from crying and the pain from wondering if anyone besides God understands how much i'm hurting today and how alone i feel. I know the lord is always there and will help us if we let him in, some days are just harder than others. This to shall pass. After all tomorrow is another day, to quote miss scarlet. I am going to put all this mess aside for the night and watch one of my favorite movies. i will tackle this in the light. Light is always better than darkness and adversity will always be present, i guess the trick is learning to cope with the adversity and find a smile in coping with it. The lord will lighten our burdens if we turn to him and ask for his help. Frustration and tears will come because of the adversary, he lives for it he waits until we are most vulnerable and dumps more on us so we will fall apart, today i choose to tell him " NOT TODAY" today is not his day i will not let him win. So i will take a break from the mess and stress and see how it all looks in the LIGHT.
Scent ( Fall Fantasy)
Sense ( walk away from a problem and look at it in a new light, it's usually not as bad as you thought)

Time

Its about time. Its been so long since i last posted. dealing with my fathers passing and all that came along with its has been very time consuming and then of course there was the holidays to get through too. I think we are just about there. We are having a service on the 30th of December now that we finally have dad's ashes. We will gather as family and friends to pay tribute to a grand man, my father. I know we all probably think our father are the best, but mine really was! I have so many great memories of my childhood and all the fun we had as a family. The family vacations to Disney land and Yellowstone. The trips to the mall or the movies. The family dinners and game nights, even working in the yard was fun when dad was around. He had a way of making people happy, even strangers. I used to fake sick just so i could stay home from school to spend the day with him. My parents mean the world to me. I'm soooooo grateful i had parents who loved me and my brother and sister and who wanted to be with us, who knew what family time was all about. I hope my children will feel as i do when they are my age, i hope that they will have as many happy memories as i do and they will cherish them as i have. Time is a funny thing sometimes you feel things take forever and that there is to much time, other times it goes by so fast and you wish you had more of it. Cherish time, time with the ones you love! make happy memories its one of the few things that last forever.
Scent( Mistletoe Kiss)
Sense (spend your time wisely)

Obituary

Darrell Walter Hole
Darrell Walter Hole returned to our savior on November 22, 2009
Born June 7, 1937 to Darrell (love) Hole and Erma Ernestine (noni) Zuniga.
Married to Dawne Lyman Powell October 2, 1973 in the Provo, Utah temple, later divorced.
He was an avid reader and enjoyed camping, fishing and the outdoors. He loved music and was a great organist, choirmaster and singer. A true chef in the culinary arts his cooking will be missed. He loved spending time with his family and taking day trips with his children.
Retired from UTA as an accountant. He played an active roll in Headstart and was loved by many children.
He was a kind and loving father, He was deeply loved and will be missed by all who knew him.
Survived by his daughters Alexandria (Scott), Meadow (Justin) his grandchildren Kira, Jaren, Teya, Eadie, Orin, Alton and Johnny. His sister Nadine Stephens and nieces and nephews.
Preceded in death by his son Michael (micky) and grandchildren L. Michael, and Makenzie Anne (kenzie).

I love you " my little daddy". You are a cherished soul who will be truly missed. I have written this to help pay tribute to all you are and all you have been. Your passing has left me heavy hearted. Tears have been shed for our loss, memories have been re-awakened and smiles have been shared. I'm grateful to you for all the wonderful times we had together, for the yard work and trips the talks and the laughs. The love you had for us will live on in our hearts. I couldn't have asked for a better dad. You will always be " My Little Daddy" and i will always remain you Zan. I LOVE YOU DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scent (Gardenia) " dad's favorite flower"
Sense ( cherish every moment with your loved ones, they won't always be there)

Change

They say change is good. I say we will see. My father passed away yesterday morning. I will miss him, i will miss the way he was when i was a child. So loving and kind always there for movies and games, taking me shopping for school clothes. I used to fake sick to stay home from school so i could be with my dad for the day doing yard work or errands. He would even try to bribe me to go occasionally with a barbie, it never worked. He took us camping and fishing, he taught me to love Gods creatures. i wish he had spent more time with us as adults and had gotten to know his grand kids better. i am grateful we had 2 weeks this past summer to be with him. We took a family vacation with my sister and her family and i will always cherish the memories we have from there. My dad has left me in charge of his affairs and this is quite an undertaking because he left me no information on where anything is or the name of his attorney. I haven't been well and neither has my sister and this is a lot of added stress for me. Trying to fulfill is wishes with no money is almost impossible. I am relying on the lord to help me get through this, with strength, courage and faith i will make it. It will be hard but they say change is good. i miss my dad.
Scent ( Fall Fantasy)
Sense ( give your children your important papers or tell them where they are)

No Dessert Tonight

Today has been a little crazy and very tiresome. I had an appointment at the social security building in salt lake. After i arrived for my scheduled appointment. I was told it had been changed to the 25th. I told them that the appointment was not made by me but someone who was acting as a representative of me, and did not have the authority to do so, after a 30 minute wait they did see me and i was very grateful. It was a long process and sitting that long was very hard. I was so relieved when it was over and i could make the 20 minute walk back to the car. ( it only takes 2 minutes for the average person). I was exhausted when i got home and still needed to meet with the insurance guy in relation to the accident. I was pleased to hear he would come to my home instead of me leaving again. I was so tired and the pain was increasing so i didn't eat anything but three sweets orange sticks and a handful of peanuts( they were close to my bed). Dinner was supposed to be brought in and i was looking forward to real food, something i haven't had in a few days due to feeling so crappy. It was due to arrive at 5 its now 6:59 and guess what? No dinner, I'm really frustrated and very hungry, i don't feel well enough to make it to the kitchen so i guess this is another night of no dinner which really sucks. I know it wasn't forgotten intentionally, unfortunately that doesn't really help me out. my mom suggested crackers and cheese or a can of refried beans. I know she meant well with these but neither is a great dinner nor do they sound good, so no dessert tonight.
Scent (No Place Like Home)
Sense ( keep track of your day to take a meal to a friend)

The Long Road

I haven't posted in a bit because i was in the hospital. We were in an auto accident on the 11th (my birthday) and i spent 5 days in the trauma unit at IMC. i was released in time to attend my father in laws funeral and sing there as had been requested by him before he passed away. I learned so much about him and have more respect and love for him then i had before. I feel like i even made some progress in mending a broken friendship with my sister in law. I have been struggling with the pain and its very hard for me to walk right now, but I'm confident that with the lords help i will make a full recovery. My mom and sister have been so supportive and my mom stayed in the hospital all 5 days. so much has happened this week. My sister and my father both had surgery yesterday and are both doing well. Im so glad. My dad had a double bi pass with a valve replacement and my sister had endometriosis (yes i spelled it wrong)she also had cysts and adhesion's removed and is home recovering. Dad is out of ICU and is doing as well as expected. It been a long and busy road for us this week but im sure we are all on the mend. Heart, mind, body and soul.
Scent (Evergreen Garland)
Sense (watch out for other drivers)